Ozpin's Academy
by The Grim Blade
Summary: Ozpin wants entertainment and doesn't want to wait for the occasional hijinks to come around. So every now and then he will instigate something to kill his boredom. Whether it is a normal school day or a serious encounter, Ozpin will not be denied.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own RWBY, even if I wish I did.**

Ozpin's Academy: Chapter 1

Headmaster Ozpin smiled to himself as he looked at all of the students and faculty having fun at the dance that Yang and Weiss put together. It was a good break from all the madness happening lately. Soon to become an even bigger and better break if his plans for tonight bear fruit.

"You certainly look happy, should I be worried?" Glynda commented as she crossed her arms and stared at her boss. Unlike many of the others in the school Glynda knows he has quite the mischievous streak. She would not let him out of sight for long.

"I just enjoy seeing the youths today use what little time they have for fun before venturing out into the real world," Ozpin replied. He looked at his assistant and smiled as he saw his chance approaching, "Even we adults could use a break every now and then."

Not a second after Ozpin finished that sentence did Ironwood appear behind Glynda and tap her on the shoulder. He smiled at her and held out a hand, bowing his head slightly, "May I have this dance?"

Glynda rolled her eyes but took the offered hand and the two adults joined the students on the dancefloor. Ozpin merely smirked, he was finally alone. Making sure he was out of the line of sight of Glynda, he slowly moved across the party. He didn't have much time to enact his plan for the evening, only until the song ends.

After a slow journey of traversing the packed room, making sure to avoid dancers and anyone who would likely start a conversation with him, Ozpin reached his destination. A large round table stood in front of him, a large bowl of pink punch and a few stacks of paper cups were all that was on the table.

Ozpin came here for the punch, but not simply to drink.

Keeping a watchful eye out he slowly made his way around the table to the window behind it. Luckily he had the foresight to hide some strong alcohol behind the curtain, with an easy twistable cap. Ozpin crossed his arms behind his back and, without even looking behind himself, slowly reached a hand behind the curtain. His ever watchful huntsman gaze keeping track of any would be observers.

Bottle now in hand Ozpin made a few steps forward to stand before the punch bowl. He twisted the cap off and, after giving one more once over of the crowd, proceeded to pour the alcohol into the punch. He didn't need much, as this particular brand was rather potent and would get even the most drunk of drunks plastered with just a couple of shots.

Thankfully there was still a lot of punch in the bowl, the alcohol would be diluted enough to not be immediately tasted but still enough to give of a kick. Ozpin discretely recapped the bottle and placed it back behind the curtain.

" _Mission accomplished. Now for the wait."_ Ozpin smirked and poured himself half a cup of the newly spiked punch.

As the leader of a prestigious huntsman school one would think its headmaster wouldn't sink so low as to spike the punch bowl during a school dance. But Ozpin was not like many of the other headmaster's, he has had enough of the usual droll of the day to day school affairs. It was high time someone added some spice to flavour the blandness the school has recently become.

A huntsman's life may be full of action and adventure, but a huntsman-in-training was usually a different story.

Ozpin took a sip of his drink and walked back around the party, taking note of Ruby Rose now walking over to the punch bowl.

" _This'll be interesting."_

He couldn't just rely on the occasional hijinks of teams RWBY and JNPR for his usual amount of amusement. Fighting thieves and the White Fang can only last so long. Ozpin found himself back at the spot he originally was.

The current song was just about to end, so Glynda was likely to return soon from her dance with Ironwood. Deny all she wants, even she can't help but enjoy a good dance. Ozpin took another sip of his drink as the dance ended and Ironwood led Glynda back.

The three adults stood together and Ozpin turned to Glynda and said, "I take it your dance with James was enjoyable?"

Glynda looked at Ironwood before crossing her arms and shrugging before glancing back at Ozpin, "It was adequate I suppose."

Ironwood chuckled, Ozpin following suit as he looked at James and said, "She's a tough nut to crack James. But don't give up just yet."

It was too bad his assistant didn't wish to be caught up in small talk. Glynda narrowed her eyes at her boss and said, "While we were dancing I couldn't help but notice you left this spot. Care to explain?"

Ozpin chuckled and held his cup up smiling, "I was merely getting some punch and conversing with a few students Glynda. Tonight is a time to celebrate, relax, and have some fun. Conversing with the bright minds of today's youth included. Nothing more."

Ironwood placed a hand on Glynda's shoulder, "Now, now Glynda. Ozpin is right, tonight is a time to relax."

Glynda sighed, "Very well. Let us relax then."

* * *

"Rubyyyyyy!" Yang yelled as she walked down one of the many hallways of Beacon. She was met with no answer, something that has repeatedly happened since she noticed her sister had disappeared from the party some time ago. She huffed in annoyance.

She was about to start again when a voice spoke out behind her.

"Something the matter Ms. Long?" Yang jumped in fright and turned around to see the headmaster himself behind her, holding a cup of punch.

"Professor Ozpin!" Yang loudly replied. "I don't suppose you'd know where Ruby could have gone off to? I can't seem to find her in the party, and to be honest she needs to socialize more."

Ozpin hummed in thought, "I can't say I have seen her. Where have you checked so far?"

Yang rubbed her head in embarrassment as she replied, "Uh… to be honest I haven't checked anywhere specific just yet. I've just been calling her name and hoping for the best."

Ozpin chuckled, "Well, with how loud you've been yelling I'm sure she could have heard you across the school." Yang blushed as Ozpin continued, "But, perhaps starting with your room would be a good start. She could have retired for the night."

Yang beamed, "Oh right! I didn't think of that. Thanks Professor!"

Ozpin smiled at the young student and started walking down the hall, "Well, there is no time to waste then."

Yang rushed to catch up to the older man and looked at him in confusion, "Wait, you're coming too?"

"Of course, the safety of my students is paramount. What kind of headmaster would I be if I didn't show any sort of care?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense I guess." Yang said.

The two walked through the school in silence, reaching the dorm room of team RWBY did not take long as one of them knew the school like the back of his hand and the other lived there with her three other teammates.

"Here we are Ms. Long." Ozpin said as he stared at the door.

"Yup!" Yang replied, "Just let me unlo-"

Yang stopped mid-sentence as her eyes widened. A fact that did not go unnoticed by the astute headmaster. Curious as to the reason for the young girl's reaction, he walked closer to the door and placed his ear against it.

Odd noises and a lot of shuffling could be heard. Even an odd grunt or groan.

Then a female voice that could only be Ruby grunting out with a mild slur, "Gah, lower Jaune!"

"I'm sorry. I haven't done this before!" The other slightly slurry voice could only belong to Mr. Arc.

"It's alright, just take it easy."

A feminine groan was heard as Jaune said, "Damn, I missed again."

Ozpin leaned back to stand back up straighter, he laughed lightly as he shook his head, _"I see, so it's going to be one of those situations…"_

Yang was on the opposite side of the spectrum, her hands were clenched in fists of rage. Her jaw was grinding her teeth together in a way that did not strike the older man as good for her dental health. Her eyes changed color, giving a new meaning to seeing red, and her hair glowed as he semblance took effect.

Ozpin could see massive property damage in the near future, not to mention the potential hospital bills if Yang was not able to reign her temper in in time. While he might like some flavour now and then, he didn't need his students getting hurt.

So in order to save some headaches in the future he placed a hand on Yang's shoulder, "Calm yourself Ms. Long."

She glared up at her headmaster, " _ **Calm**_?! You want **me** to be _**calm**_?! How can I when Jaune is just moments away from stealing my younger sister's purity?!"

She recoiled in shock when Ozpin chuckled, "Think about it Ms. Long. This is a common misunderstanding, someone hearing something suspicious behind a closed door and immediately thinking it as something dirty? All the while what's really going on is something completely innocent? A typical cliched situation. In all my years of life I have encountered such misunderstandings Yang, some of them even caused by myself on accident." Ozpin chuckled even more as he shook his head, "Why, I can remember my own team barging into our shared dorm room when they thought I was having relations with a fellow student."

Yang calmed down some as Ozpin spoke, her hair losing some of its energy.

"The point is Yang, a huntsman must look what's underneath the surface. To find the truth hidden in lies, and make sure they know everything they need to ensure the safety of humanity. Being a huntsman is not just battle prowess, even if it is a significant part, but thinking outside the box."

Ozpin smiled down at the now relaxed girl.

"So, are you ready to see the truth?" Ozpin said.

Yang smiled up at him, "Yeah, I'd like that professor."

Yang unlocked the door to the room and the student and headmaster walked into the room.

Ruby and Jaune were certainly the ones in the room.

They looked at Ozpin and Yang in shock.

Ozpin and Yang looked at them in shock, Ozpin hiding his with refined dignity.

There were several reasons for the newcomer's shock. One was the loose clothing strewn about the floor, the second was the messed up bed belonging to Blake that was a chaotic mess of sheets. Most likely caused by an intense make-out session. The most prominent however were the two naked bodies lying on said bed, and the bare ass of Jaune Arc blinding the newcomers.

Ozpin took a sip of punch as he contemplated the current situation and wondered where his amazing deductions went wrong. Eventually, after a few scant seconds of finding nothing, he hummed out a simple, "Hmm."

That three letter sound created an avalanche. Yang roared in unbridled fury, her aura flaring out a bright yellow as her semblance took immediate hold. She took a heavy stomp forward and launched herself. Jaune, in an effort to preserve his own life, snatched his pants from the side of the bed and flung himself to the other side of the room. Ruby grabbed a hold of the sheets and covered her bare form.

Jaune was barely able to dodge Yang's initial lunge and took the chance to bolt out the open door. Yang was in immediate hot pursuit and the two teenagers were out of sight, a loud boom and a cry of panic was heard, but it seemed they were not out of sound.

Ozpin took another sip of his punch, "Hmm."

 **A/N: I'm starting this story off with a Yang. Feel free to offer future ideas, I'll give you a shoutout if I do it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: These will not follow any particular order in the timeline. Also, this initial story idea is brought to you by** **lambertjonathan63!)**

 **Ozpin's Academy: Chapter 2**

 **-The Prank War Part 1-**

Ozpin sipped his favorite mug as he stared out the window from his chair in his office. It has been a quiet day so far, even with the Vytal Tournament going on in full swing. Qrow's little spat with Winter a few hours earlier didn't really break the peace. Speaking of Winter, she sent him a lovely bouquet of white flowers that almost seemed to glow as an apology for helping to break his school. Currently he had them on his desk as he didn't have anywhere else to put them.

Suddenly a pleasant ding announced the arrival of someone coming into his office from the elevator. Curious, as he was not expecting company, Ozpin twirled his chair around to face the newcomer. The elevator doors opened to reveal Qrow in his drunken and glorious majesty.

"Ah Qrow, what do I owe the pleasure? I was certain you'd be spending some time with your nieces by now." Ozpin stated.

Qrow waved him off, "I can spend some time with them later, we got plenty of it right now. I actually came here for somethin' else."

Qrow slumped into one of the seats in front of Ozpin's desk. Ozpin raised an eyebrow, "Do tell Qrow, and don't keep me waiting."

Qrow pulled out his flask and took a large gulp before closing it back up and saying, "I want to know the real reason you're not stopping Jimmy. He's messed things up pretty badly." Qrow waved a hand at Ozpin, "If you put your foot down hard enough I know he'd listen to you. Military men, no matter how high in ranking, always end up following orders."

Ozpin sighed; he was getting quite tired of all the bickering about Ironwood's methods. A spark of his signature mischievousness went through his brain and he grew a devilish idea. Ozpin looked at Qrow and said, "His heart is in the right place, I can hardly fault him for doing what he believes is right in order to fight our shared enemies. If I slammed my foot down too hard it could spark heavy tensions between us, and a divide is the last thing we need now of all times."

Qrow sighed, but took his words to heart. The two stayed quiet for a while before Qrow spoke up once more, "Alright, I have to ask." Qrow waved a hand at the flowers, "What's with the flowers?"

 _"There it is…"_

"Ah yes, those. Winter actually came by and dropped these off before saying a few words in private."

Qrow raised an eyebrow, "So… the Ice Queen has a thing for older men, huh?"

Ozpin shrugged and took a sip from his mug before replying, "Yes, it is something like that. But not for me if that's what you're thinking. No, she gave these to me because I promised to hand them over to the real recipient discreetly."

Qrow smirked and leaned back with his hands behind his head, "I bet it's Jimmy. Probably lookin' for a promotion or two."

Ozpin picked the flowers up and slid them over to Qrow, "No my old friend, to you."

Qrow didn't move as his jaw unhinged slightly and Ozpin had to force his normally stoic face from having a malicious smirk grow on it. Qrow's hands fell down to his sides as he dumbly looked at the headmaster, his eyes unfocused and disbelieving, and said, "You're messin' with me aren't ya?"

Ozpin shook his head, "No, I'm afraid not Qrow." He sighed, "I am disappointed I couldn't follow through with my promise completely. I _was_ supposed to do this discreetly. But, well, I figured you'd have a much better time if I just straight up told you."

Qrow licked his lips and took the flowers from the desk before swallowing.

Ozpin twirled around to face the window once more, "Don't keep a lovely girl like her waiting Qrow. She'll be leaving very soon and you wouldn't want to miss your chance for a bit of a tussle in the sheets now would you?"

Qrow got up from his seat and quickly made his way to the elevators, not saying a word.

When Ozpin heard the doors to the elevators open he called out, "And make sure you don't tell her where you got those flowers from. Discreet, remember? She should be in one of the courtyard pavilions as of now."

Ozpin was certain Qrow had heard him and, as soon as he heard the doors close shut and the elevator mechanism send the metal box down to the first floor, he finally let that smirk grow on his face.

He took one more sip of his mug and stared down at the courtyard where the magic was about to happen.

* * *

Qrow walked into the pavilion and was greeted with the sight of a glowing light blue and white grim. He shrugged it off as one of the things a Schnee's semblance can do. He barely made out the last thing Winter said to her little sister as she stared at her sister and her summon in awe.

"Then you'll never truly grow."

Qrow put the flowers into the crook of his arm and slowly clapped, "Quite the spectacle, it's a bit too bright if you ask me. Could use a bit more darker colors, but then I guess it would just be a normal grimm."

Winter narrowed her eyes at the newcomer, her sister following suit as she recognized him from earlier.

"Qrow. I hoped to never have had to see you again during my short remaining stay here at Beacon," Winter seethed.

Qrow held up a hand and slowly strutted closer, "Now, now. I'm not here to fight you again."

"Then what, pray tell, _did_ you come here for?"

Qrow held out the flowers and offered them to her. "I'm here for _you_ ," Qrow winked seductively, "Snow Angel."

Winter's, and her sister's, face went through many different expressions. But while Weiss's face stayed on complete and utter flabbergasted, Winter's morphed into complete lividness and disgust. She yanked the flowers out of Qrow's grip and stomped her foot in rage.

"You… You insufferable pig! Did you honestly think I'd even _consider_ doing anything remotely romantic with you?! And what about these?!" Winter held the flowers up and practically shoved them into Qrow's face; "I gave these to Ozpin as an apology for breaking the school during our fight! Did you take these from his office to use to flirt with me?! How foolish! Of course I'd instantly recognize them!"

During this exchange Qrow's expression also went through many changes, but stayed mostly on shock and confusion. Winter yanked the flowers from Qrow's face and slammed her boot into his crotch. Being as shocked at the situation as he was, Qrow wasn't able to dodge the dangerous blow. He grunted in pain and doubled over, while Winter did a textbook about-face and grabbed her sister by the arm.

"Come Weiss, we need to go somewhere less foul to practice your summoning!" Winter practically dragged her still flabbergasted sister by the hand.

Qrow simply kneeled there cupping his nearly shattered jewels as he watched the two Schnee sisters leave the pavilion. He slowly, and carefully, turned around and waddled out the way he came from. Standing just outside the pavilion he looked up at the top of Beacon tower. He squinted his eyes and was barely able to see the small frame of the headmaster staring down at him. Qrow could've sworn Ozpin raised his mug into the air mockingly before taking a sip.

"Ozpin, you clever bastard." Qrow muttered. Qrow's head was already forming multitudes of revenge plots. He then said slightly louder, "I hope you know that this, means war."

 _"Two can play at this game Oz…"_ Qrow added silently as he narrowed his eyes at his friend. He was not one to be outdone in a prank war.

Qrow could almost hear what the headmaster's reply would be.

 _"We'll see about that Qrow."_

 **(A/N: Next chapter will be one of my own.)**


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N: Thank you Guest for pointing out the title. A bit of a mix up. I have fixed the title to the proper one.)**

 **Ozpin's Academy: Chapter 3**

 **-Ozpin's Punishment: Part 1-**

Ozpin calmly sipped his mug as he stared out the window behind his office desk. As a benefit of having his office as high as it was, the window offered a fantastic view of the surrounding land. From his office he could see the city of Vale, the beautiful river, and the thriving landscape itself. Or that's what he _would_ normally see at any rate.

Currently his vision of the city and any other wonderful view of the land was blocked by a massive column of black smoke. Ozpin swirled his mug around lightly, letting the delicious brew stir around. He knew exactly how all of this came about, and destruction of school property aside, he felt it was all worth it in the end. Ozpin looked down at the ground, seeing his blonde assistant as she stormed across the school grounds towards Beacon Tower. He could feel the heat of her glare from his nice, cool, and cozy office.

Ozpin took another sip from his mug as he saw teachers and students rushing around in an attempt to put out the courtyard's new bonfire.

Ozpin knew Glynda would be heading up the elevator to chew him out. She has had to fix many different kinds of messes today. It certainly didn't help that he needed to get some paperwork done in his office and was unable to help her out when this mess started piling up.

Ozpin looked at the dreadful work he had to do, the couple of papers littering his desk made his hand twitch in agony at the thought. Oh yes, he simply had too much to do today. Ozpin looked back out the window as he recalled what happened only four hours ago.

* * *

"There is a package for you sir," said Glynda as a delivery gentleman rolling a trolley with a metal box on it came into his office.

"Yeah, I got somethin' for an... Oz-Pin?" said the delivery man. "Just got ta sign here."

The delivery man held up a holo-pad and a stylus, Ozpin promptly signed and gave the man back the items. The delivery man wasted no time in unloading the box from his trolley and set it down in front of Ozpin's desk.

"Thank you," Ozpin said. The delivery man simply tipped his hat and left Ozpin's office.

Glynda looked at her boss and asked, "Do I even _want_ to know?"

Ozpin merely shrugged, "It's nothing important Glynda. Just a few extra supplies for one of my hobbies."

Glynda didn't seem to buy it, but sighed anyway. "Just don't cause too much trouble sir, I'll be roaming around the school before my next combat class."

Ozpin waited until his assistant left before pushing a button on the lid of the box. The metal box hissed and slowly opened to reveal its contents. Several cans of ThirstyPower energy drinks revealed themselves to the world, and Ozpin could not help but crack a sly smirk. He picked one up and read part of the label.

"Now with real lightning Dust, hmm?"

While Ozpin doubted the drink had actual Dust in it, as that would be extremely harmful to one's body, he didn't doubt the fact that anyone who drinks this would have energy for the day and then some.

Ozpin kept the single drink in hand as he closed the box before heading over to the elevator. It was around noon, so who could blame him for wanting to get something to eat?

* * *

The trip to the cafeteria was uneventful, other than the fact he was receiving odd looks from his students. It was not often he wasn't seen holding his usual coffee mug, even less with another drink in hand. Ozpin pushed the doors to the cafeteria open and strolled in, keeping a lookout for his target.

He spotted her amongst her usual group, her team on one side of the table and team RWBY on the other. Ozpin couldn't help but think that the reason Mr. Arc was sitting furthest from Ms. Long was because he came close to siring her a niece or nephew. And the fact she was still giving him the mother of all death glares would be a good indicator, even if it has been a good week since that little incident. The orange hair of his target was not easily missed, nor was her upbeat and loud personality. Ozpin made his way over and stood a respectful distance.

"Good afternoon children. How is everything coming along today?" Ozpin asked.

They generally replied with their usual cheer. Jaune gave a nervous thumbs up, "Doin' good Professor, could be better though."

Ozpin turned his attention to Nora, "Ms. Valkyrie, what would you do if I told you that you have been chosen to try out a new drink I might wish to put in the vending machines? I wish to have a student's opinion before I do anything."

"Ooh! Sounds good!" Nora was on her feet instantly, saluting Ozpin with a wide grin.

Ozpin handed the energy drink over to her, not saying a word as he sent a casual disarming smile. Nora took it from him and instantly popped the top before chugging it. Her partner Ren happened to look back at the two.

When Ren saw what Nora was drinking the normally stoic boy's eyes widened considerably and horror slowly struck his face. He held out a desperate hand as he screamed out a long and tortuous, "Nooooooooo!"

Nora finished chugging the drink and gave a sigh of satisfaction, sticking her tongue out cutely. Nothing seemed to happen for a second, which made Ozpin think nothing was going to actually happen after all. That was until Nora dawned a creepy grin on her face, her eyes dilating into small pinpricks, and started vibrating in place. Ozpin blinked at the display and as soon as his eyes reopened Nora was gone, leaving only an empty can spinning briefly in the air before clattering to the ground.

Ren's haunted look turned to face the headmaster, and with defeated eyes he simply squeaked out a pitiful, " _Why_?"

Ozpin didn't look at his pitiful looking student, instead he stoically stood in the cafeteria letting the children stew in their thoughts. Everyone concerned over just what could make the quiet boy shout like that. After a few moments of silence Ozpin turned his head ever so slowly, his gaze eventually resting firmly on Jaune.

Ozpin leaned forward on his cane, getting eye level with the young man. "Because for the past week I've had a full moon burnt deeply into my psyche. I've even lost sleep because of it."

Jaune looked at the headmaster nervously, "Ahahaha… you don't _look_ sleep deprived sir. Just as youthful looking as ever, heh..."

Ozpin straightened back up, "By the way, Ms. Valkyrie is now your responsibility Mr. Arc. You must reign in her rampage, to my satisfaction standards. You may bring in the other members of your team to help you, but no others. Punishment for not meeting my expectations will be dire." An explosion was heard in the background along with several screams, "You'd best hurry up now Mr. Arc. And do not forget that I have cameras watching this school, I will be watching your progress as well."

Jaune, now terrified, sprinted out of the cafeteria with his teammates following quickly behind him. The rest of the group and the cafeteria was left with awkward silence as the other first year team and the headmaster of the school watched the other team leave out the doors.

"Uh, Professor Ozpin?" Ruby eventually asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes, child?"

"You're… not going to expel Jaune or anything right? I mean, he _is_ our friend and… it would really suck if he left."

"Oh yeah, you two were getting _real_ chummy! Real best friends there!" Yang blurted out, slamming a fist on the table.

"Ugh! Would you give it a rest Yang! It's been a week already! Just drop it!" Ruby retorted.

Ozpin held a hand up, "Now, now. Let's not get into a fight, we don't need a repeat of the last time you girls did that here." Nervous laughing and glances went around, "And do not fret Ruby Rose, I'm not going to expel him or do anything of that sort. I was just creating… motivation. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm needed in my office. I have some security to go over..."

With that Ozpin turned around and walked calmly out the doors.

 **(A/N: Here's the next! And don't forget to share any ideas for pranks Ozpin and Qrow could do to each other. Or any potential destruction Nora could cause, I can always add any fun extras in.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ozpin's Academy: Chapter 4**

 **-The Prank War Part 2-**

Qrow is many things. A badass huntsman, a drunk, a loving uncle, a skirt chaser, not old, some things that can't be said in a T rated story, and many others. Two of those other things included the mind of a prankster, and a heart fit to burst with petty vengeance.

He also knows the schedule of a certain headmaster. Like, for instance, when he will be out of his office wandering the school with his assistant witch. It was pathetically easy to slip in undetected when he had the master code needed to enter the room.

The soft chime of the elevator echoed in Ozpin's office. Qrow sauntered out of the metal box with his hands in his pockets, and a scowl on his face. "Make a fool out of me will ya Oz? I'll show you…" Qrow grumbled.

Qrow turned and stared at the small table next to the elevator. On it held one of Ozpin's most valuable and prized assets in the school. His C-490X Mega Dripper 6000 coffee maker. Qrow grinned maliciously as he stared at the pot under the nozzle holding the still warm liquid.

Rustling a hand in his pocket, Qrow pulled out a small bottle. Twisting the cap off, Qrow looked into the bottle to drink the sight in. Smirking, Qrow took the pot out and dumped some of the contents of the bottle into it. A powdery substance mixed into the coffee, Qrow stirred it around until the powder was completely dissolved and placed the pot back into its original location.

Qrow twisted the cap back on and stuffed the bottle back into his pocket.

Taking his normal slouching stride back to the elevator he decided he will spend some more time with his nieces for now. After a few more stops of course. If what Ozpin's schedule is any indication, he will have plenty of time until his revenge takes fruit.

Qrow evilly chuckled as the doors closed.

"The war is on Oz…"

* * *

A soft ding echoed around the walls of the clockwork room. The doors of the elevator opened up to revealed its occupants.

"Glynda, Glynda, Glynda. I simply can not figure out why you are worrying so much. It was a simple prank between old friends, nothing to fret over," Ozpin said as the pair entered his office. They were not going to be here long, only long enough for Ozpin to refill his mug.

"A simple prank?" Glynda looked at Ozpin like he had grown an extra head, "You made Qrow think Winter, of all the people on Remnant, would fall for him. Him! Hell, she even kicked him in the balls. You know as well as I that Qrow will not take that lying down."

Ozpin grabbed the pot of coffee and poured the contents into his mug. He simply laughed, "Come now Glynda. I know you have your differences but try to think better of our comrade. He is not nearly as petty as you think."

Glynda threw her arms in the air, "Do you not remember the last time you pranked him? He ended up retaliating with more force than necessary and you two ended up having a prank war of all things!" The blonde witch grunted as she stomped her foot and continued, "We had to close off one fourth of the school just so that the clean up staff could scrap the poor students that were caught in the blast off the walls! We were lucky no one was killed! These kind of things always get out of hand between you two! Neither of you know the word restraint!"

Ozpin sighed and put down the mug that he was about to drink from, "I understand your concern Glynda. So how about I make you a promise."

The blonde crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow, "What kind of a promise?"

The silver haired wizard smiled at his assistant, "I will do everything in my power to contain this prank war. It will not get out of hand, it will not involve any wayward students, and the property damage will be kept at an absolute minimum. In fact," Ozpin raised his mug, "I will do my best to make sure you won't have to fix anything."

Ozpin gave a disarming smile as he drunk deeply from his mug, watching as his assistant sighed deeply.

"Fine," she eventually concede. Then she suddenly thrusted a finger at the Headmaster, "But remember, we do not want a repeat of the syrup incident. Those halls still smell sickly sweet, no matter how much the janitors assure me they soaked them with bleach."

Ozpin filled his mug once more, "Agreed. Now, let us be off. We should continue to see how our students are doing today." With that Ozpin and Glynda Goodwitch filed into the elevator.

* * *

The sun beat down on the courtyard, the rays of sunlight not giving any respite to the people under its influence. Those exercising or even simply relaxing were feeling the heat, seeing a sweaty face was not uncommon. Certainly, as he always wore a black suit no matter where he was, nobody cared that Ozpin was sweating as well. Even being one of the best Hunters in the world did not exempt you from the basic functions of the body.

Still, if one were to look closer, they would see that Ozpin was sweating a good deal more than anyone else. His eyebrow twitched ever so slightly as sweat rolled past his eye, blinking away the offending liquid.

"Are you alright?" Glynda asked. She was clearly worried about him, as it is not everyday that Ozpin's composure was shaken this badly.

"I'm quite alright Glynda, thank you for asking," Ozpin did his best to reassure his blonde assistant. He did not feel he succeeded.

Truthfully Ozpin was not alright. For the past thirty minutes he started to feel an ungodly pressure in his abdomen. His body rumbled powerfully every so often, loud enough to even catch the attention of the people around him. But as he perfected the passive stare of unshakability, nobody suspected it was him and simply brushed it off as their minds playing tricks on them. He felt the beginnings of another roll of thunder in his intestines and clenched his body as tight as he could in preparation of the struggle he would have to endure.

Ozpin gave a nearly unnoticeable shudder as he was forced to clench his back gates from unauthorized escape. He was the Headmaster of a prestigious school for future huntsmen, he would not lower himself to defecate in his pants on school grounds.

Glynda adjusted her glasses and gave him a curious look, "If you say so sir. But I'm afraid it is almost time for a meeting I must go to, I should get there early so I can prepare a few things. Will you be good on your own?"

Ozpin waved her off, "Off course. I'll be fine. I have a few things to take care of myself."

Glynda nodded at her boss, "Very well. I'll see you at dinner then."

Ozpin watched the blonde witch walk off to her meeting for a scant few seconds before quickly walking across the courtyard. He did not run, that would be unbecoming, instead he simply walked a tiny bit faster than normal. Almost unnoticeable to the untrained eye.

"Ah! Headmaster! What a surprise to see you!" Came the jovial voice of Peter Port as the heavy set man walked up to Ozpin, for a man with a heavy walk and a loud voice he could be stealthy when he wants. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of Ozpin's face.

"I simply wish to get out of this heat for a bit," came the smooth reply of the Headmaster.

"Haha! I guess even the great Professor Ozpin can succumb to the mighty forces of nature now and then," Port exclaimed. "Why this reminds me of a time in my youth-"

Ozpin groaned mentally as he was forced to politely listen to the portly man's story about his many so-called adventures in his youth. At the very least he was able to get the two of them moving into the building, his search for reprieve could still continue.

The two made good time through the empty hallways, the never ending stories that flowed out of Peter Port's mouth was the only sound. Finally, what he was looking for came into sight, the men's restroom. Ozpin payed no mind to the chatter spewing from Professor Port as he walked towards the place of salvation.

But it turns out salvation was not real if the "Out of Order" sign was any indication. Ozpin licked his now dry lips.

"Ah yes, a lot of our bathrooms are out of order today." Port interjected. He rubbed his mustache in thought, "Strange that really."

Ozpin felt a cold dread seep through his body. A dread dark and strong enough that every Grimm in Vale had to have sensed it. "Strange, indeed it is," Ozpin replied.

Port nodded, "Well, I won't keep you. I have some papers to grade."

Ozpin nodded his farewell and contemplated his bleak situation.

" _Perhaps I could simply use one of the toilets and leave it unflushed. Let the blame fall to to an unnamed student,"_ Ozpin thought to himself before shaking his head. " _No, I am a huntsman. I can deal with any situation. I simply must find somewhere else to do business."_

Unfortunately for Ozpin, no matter where he went, every bathroom was out of order.

"This can not be," Ozpin muttered to himself as he marched down the hallway, passing by the most recent out of order sign. "This simply can not be."

Ozpin found himself back outside, somehow in his mad quest for solace in a restroom he did not notice that he was behind a building. Not did he notice that he even left the sweet air conditioning of his school. Ozpin's face darkened, he spent an hour searching the school. Nothing could help him, and even his great restraint was beginning to wear thin. His body was on the verge of breaking.

He looked to his right, large bushes decorated the space behind this building. Perfect for concealment. Ozpin grimly accepted his fate as he walked through the first set of bushes, his pride shattering as he unbuckled his belt.

* * *

"See ya kid," Qrow said as he ruffled his youngest niece's hair and left her and her team's room. Just as he finished closing the door he began his walk down the hallway. As he neared the intersection Ozpin suddenly rounded the corner, his brown eyes hiding a burning anger behind his calm face. Qrow smirked.

"Qrow," Ozpin said.

"Oz," Qrow replied, hands in his pockets.

Silence reigned between the two older huntsmen and smoldering anger clashed with infuriating amusement.

"So," Qrow said after the silence went on long enough, his insufferable smirk still on his face. "What brings you here to the first year dorms?"

"I believe you know what brings me here, Qrow," Ozpin replied.

Qrow shrugged his shoulders, "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking 'bout Oz. I've just been hanging out with my favorite nieces all day."

"So you would deny putting laxatives in my coffee and falsely put up out of order signs on all the bathrooms in the school?" Ozpin pressed.

Qrow shook his head, "Sorry Oz, I don't have any idea what you're talking about. But it sounds to me like you've have a shitty day today…" Qrow smirked, "Perhaps you should just _re-lax_ if you're going to act all _stuffy_."

Ozpin narrowed his eyes at his enemy, biting his lip as he trembled in rage. Finally, after it seemed like he would explosively jump out and attack Qrow, he breathed deeply in and relaxed. Ozpin turned back around and slowly began to walk away. Qrow untensed himself as he narrowed his eyes at Ozpin.

Before he reached the intersection Ozpin stopped in his tracks. He turned his body enough that he could see Qrow from the corner of his eye.

"I'm going to break you," was Ozpin's final reply before he disappeared around the hall.

Qrow shuddered and quietly said under his breath, "Then I'll just have to be on my guard then. You won't take me by surprise so easily."

 **(A/N) Time to work on Nora's rampage now.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ozpin's Academy: Chapter 5**

 **Ozpin's Punishment: Part 2 - Nora's Rampage**

Jaune winced as a muffled boom shook Beacon Academy, dust and plaster rained down on him and the other two members of his team. Crazed laughter echoed menacingly down the halls, the three other team members of Team JNPR shivering as a dreadfully cold tingle ran down their spines. They ran as though their life depended on it, considering the circumstances it was not entirely untrue.

"Oh, this isn't good guys, this really isn't good," Jaune exclaimed as he violently flung himself out of the way of a large piece of falling ceiling. "At this rate, Nora will bring down the entire school before we will even be able to catch up to her!"

Ren dodged around screaming students, leaping onto the wall before using a foot to spring back down to the ground and continue running. "There is no catching up to Nora when she's like this. We need to either wait for her to calm down… or trap her," Ren supplied.

"And how do you expect we do that? I mean, you've dealt with this before right?" Jaune asked.

Ren stared ahead as he seemed to think it over.

He looked back at his team leader and said the damning words, "I have no idea. The last time she didn't drink something like that, she only had some coffee. It barely lasted ten minutes before she burnt it off."

The three teens were forced to stop when they came across a large amount of rubble blocking two of the hallways in the intersection they came across. Jaune wanted to cry, but he couldn't right now. Maybe later, if he managed to actually stop Nora and not get expelled.

"So what do we do?" he couldn't help but ask, though he couldn't tell who he was actually asking at this point.

Then Pyrrha, his other teammate, spoke up, "Well... if we need to trap her then we should start with some bait right? Then come up with a way to cage Nora in?"

That got Jaune thinking. "Bait…" he mumbled. His eyes lit up when inspiration struck and swiftly turned around to grab his partner by the shoulders, "Pyrrha! You beautiful and smart woman you! That's it!"

Pyrrha's face turned as red as her hair and she stammered out, "W-What's it?"

Jaune turned to Ren, grabbed him by the shoulders, and shook him violently while shouting, "Ren! I need you to head to the kitchens!"

"W-Why?" the confused boy managed to speak out through the shaking.

"I need you to make pancakes! That special recipe you made a few weeks ago!"

Ren's eyes widened in realization before he narrowed his gaze at Jaune and nodded, "Right. I won't let you down."

"Hurry Ren, and when you're done call me and I'll tell you where to put the bait," Jaune said as he let go of Ren.

The ninja turned and sprinted down the halls, leaving the knight and the spartan alone. Pyrrha looked at her leader, "What are we going to do?"

Jaune didn't say anything right away, instead, he licked his lips nervously. Finally, after several nerve-wracking seconds he looked at his partner and said, "We are going to build a trap."

"That doesn't sound too bad-"

"A trap that can handle Nora, Pyrrha," Jaune interrupted.

"Oh."

Jaune sighed and looked at her, "I don't suppose you have any ideas?"

Pyrrha tapped a finger on her chin.

* * *

The hallways of Beacon Academy were not what they used to be, several walls were crumbled and shattered. Most of those shattered walls were on fire, although a good few applications of ice dust usually quelled those before they got out of hand. Jaune, in his fear of being expelled, made sure to contribute as much as he could to putting out fires whenever he saw them.

Sobbing students could be seen hugging each other, trying to look small and unimportant as they wildly looked around, as if to make sure their new nightmare wasn't coming for them. Fear so potent that no Grimm could match it. A few of the hardier students, mostly upperclassmen, were running rescue missions constantly, trying to get the fleeing students away from the danger.

A shrill laughter made everyone pause and shiver in fright as an explosion rocked the school.

But one section of the school, the place where teams from out of Vale were staying, was completely cut off from the rest. The building was encased entirely in ice, the foreign students standing around in the building's common room trying to figure out what to do.

"All I'm saying is that we just got to bust through the ice! A few well-placed explosives and my own semblance should do the trick!" A blonde haired monkey faunus argued with his teammate, Neptune.

"And what if that causes more damage, for all we know the ice could collapse on the building and crush us! Why not just wait for the teachers to take care of it? I mean do you really want to go out _there_?!" Neptune's point was punctuated with a muffled explosion.

Sun looked out the window, its view distorted by the ice in front of it but the destruction that has happened to Bacon could still be seen. "I mean… I guess I can see your point. It just feels weird sitting here and doing nothing."

Neptune sighed, "No no, I get ya."

On the other side of the common room, away from all of the other students, a trio of malicious evildoers chatted amongst themselves.

"Perhaps whoever is doing this destruction could be persuaded to join our cause…" Cinder chuckled very menacingly and rubbed her hands together. "Yes, I can see it now. We wouldn't even need the Tournament if we have this person on our side."

Mercury wickedly looked through a comic book, meanly flipping a page as he grunted, "I think it's that Nora girl on Nikos' team, I heard one of the other teams saw her with a box of ice dust running around the building. Probably won't have a whole lot of luck there."

Cinder waved him off, "A minor obstacle."

Emerald said nothing.

* * *

Three hours of hard work later, as the team leader of JNPR and his fearless partner crouched around a corner, Jaune could not help but ask, "Pyrrha, do you think this will work?"

Pyrrha pressed herself against the wall, peeking around the corner and ignoring the distressed moans of pain and various humiliation from the other students, "I'm positive in any plan you make, Jaune. You're not our team leader for nothing."

"If you say so…"

Cardin randomly made himself known, his prone form attempting to drag himself across the hallway, away from the orange haired menace just down the hall. When he saw Jaune and Pyrrha he held out a desperate hand, "Help me! I think she broke my legs!"

Jaune looked at his legs, "They don't look broken, just bruised..."

"It really hurts, though!"

The blonde rolled his eyes and pointed back the way he and Pyrrha came from, "Go that way, some teachers are helping out other students. We're trying to stop Nora right now."

"Okay… thank you..." Cardin quietly wheezed out as he slowly dragged himself away.

The partners watched the pitiful boy leave, Jaune shaking his head, "This has got to stop. Pyrrha, it's time to do it."

The red haired girl nodded, "Right!" Pyrrha then took a deep breath, cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "Noraaaaa! Ren prepared his special pancakes for you in the courtyaaard!"

At first, nothing seemed to happen, then there was complete silence, then the rumbling started. The spartan girl almost lost her balance, Jaune was not so lucky as he tripped over his own feet and slammed into the wall. An orange streak shot past the two, the winds from Nora's sprinting practically peeling the paint from the walls of the school and a trail of drool the only other indication she was even there.

"That was tamer than what I expected," Jaune said from his seated position on the ground.

"Please, don't jinx it Jaune," Pyrrha replied.

The two sprinted after Nora, they knew they could not keep up but they just had to get to the courtyard, the trap would spring itself. Eventually, they made it to the courtyard but were forced to stop before they could go any further in.

"Oh… that's not good," Jaune said.

A giant contraption filled the courtyard, the springing mechanism that knocked a large ball of metal that Pyrrha had made out of a bucket had fired. The ball had fallen down some wooden platforms to knock against a pole that made another metal ball out of a tub to land on top of a plank, a small statue had flung into the air and land into a large bucket that activated the large wooden cage to fall down a pole. But the cage and the pole it was connected to was on fire, thick black smoke already choking the air.

Groaning was heard in the bushes behind them, Jaune and Pyrrha quickly helping Ren get himself out.

"It was horrible…" Ren muttered. The poor boy shuttered and he hunched over, resting himself on his knees, "Her mouth unhinged like a snake…"

Jaune patted his back, "Don't think about it too much, just tell us what happened. We were late by a few seconds."

Ren seemed to bring himself together and nodded, straightening up, "I blinked as soon as I saw the orange blur, the next thing I knew I was looking at Nora shoving the whole plate into her mouth before pulling it out spotless." He was forced to pause as the memory of something that inhuman flashed through his brain once more. "Right after that, she ran out of the cage's path before it fell down, sending a cloud of red dust everywhere that exploded when she was gone."

"Guess that plan was a bust," Jaune muttered.

Pyrrha stared at the burning wooden cage for a moment before looking over at Jaune, "Jaune… where did you get the idea for this thing anyway?"

The blonde boy looked embarrassed and rubbed the back of his head, "Uh… well, you see. I kinda got it from a board game I that played a lot with my sisters. It's called mouse trap."

Pyrrha rose an eyebrow, "You tried to catch Nora with a trap you got from a game?"

"I mean… it's obvious the trap actually worked, I'm kinda surprised about that myself actually. It just didn't catch who we were trying to catch is all."

"That's not important," Ren interjected. "In case you haven't noticed we still haven't actually caught Nora yet. And I'm getting worried about the lack of explosions, as odd as that might sound."

Jaune paused, "Hey, you're right… Where are all of the explosions?"

The three teammates looked around confused, the only sounds left in Beacon was the burning cage next to them, the rush of people just now coming out of the school to try and put it out, and the crying of the weak willed.

"Ozpiiiin!"

That sound of pure, unadulterated fury, shook the bones of Jaune, Ren, and Pyrrha. The three of them turned around to see Glynda Goodwitch herself stomping across the school. The teens quickly got out of her way as she made her way into Beacon Tower, her glare focused on the top of the building. She suddenly stopped and looked over her shoulder, the JPR of Team JNPR gulped simultaneously, "Team JNPR, please help the rest of the faculty and student body put out this fire. It would be much appreciated."

Without another word, Glynda entered Beacon Tower. Normally Jaune would have sent a prayer for Ozpin, but he didn't.

* * *

"Glynda, please, be reasonable," Ozpin calmly stated as he jumped out of the way of a telekinetic wave. One of his lovely windows shattering, before stopping in mid air and reversing to reassemble itself. "You almost destroyed my favorite mug."

"I am being reasonable," Glynda replied. "In fact, I should be trying to kill you even harder. Do you know how big of a headache these past four hours have caused me? I told you to _not_ cause too much trouble, and what do you do? You cause trouble!"

A much larger wave of force tried to slam into the headmaster, who managed to get out of the way, but not unscathed. Ozpin's mug flew out of his hand, sailing through the window that had shattered.

"I caused no trouble at all, it was Miss Valkyrie that destroyed most of the school," Ozpin said. "If you want the one who did all the damage you simply need to look into Team JNPR's dorm. I believe she is currently sleeping off her sugar high right about now."

"But _you_ gave her that energy drink! _You_ knew she was a hyper child. _You_ were counting on this just because you can't handle accidentally seeing a little bit of man ass! _You_ are being extremely petty about all of this!" Glynda yelled.

"Language, Glynda. And I have not a single idea about what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't you try and deny it! How about I-!" Before she swung her riding crop again in order to send another missed wave of force and the wily old man in front of her, Glynda stopped herself short and sucked in a deep breath as it forced a sort of calm on her, "No. You aren't the type who learns by force."

Ozpin furrowed his brow in confusion as Glynda slapped her crop on her palm and turned around, walking over to the table next to the elevator. A shining, spotless piece of sleek modern technology sat upon the rich mahogany table. Not a single speck of dust or dirt was even remotely near its area.

"Glynda? What are you doin-" Ozpin stopped short as the true goal of his assistant was suddenly revealed, the old headmaster held out a hand as he desperately screamed, "Glynda! No! Anything but that!"

Glynda rose her crop in the air and swung it down, telekinetic force crushed the table in front of her, taking the latest model of the best coffee maker with it. Plastic, glass, and wood went everywhere, rich coffee spilling around the wreckage like blood.

Ozpin sunk to his knees, hand falling back down to his side, "That was the latest model, it hasn't even been released to the world's market yet. All the strings I had to pull."

Glynda stood up straight and glared down at the defeated headmaster, "This is for your own good Ozpin, let it be a lesson from one professor to another. Maybe next time you will think about your actions and not make my workload as hard as you've made it today."

The blonde witch pushed her glasses up her nose and abruptly about-faced before stalking towards the elevator door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to keep this school from burning into the ground."


	6. Chapter 6

**Ozpin's Academy: Chapter 6**

 **-Ozpin Dates Part 1-**

"I think it would be good for you," Glynda said, a hand resting on her hip as she and Ozpin had a glaring match in his office, the evening's light pouring in through the windows. "Perhaps a night out on the town with a nice girl will do some good reigning in your more… eccentric hobbies. You need to get out of the school more often anyway."

Ozpin rose an eyebrow and sipped his mug, "Glynda, I think you are completely delusional and haven't thought this through at all. I have no eccentric hobbies." Ozpin paused to sip his mug before looking over at Glynda questioningly, "Besides, what could I possibly do with a girl at night?"

" _No eccentric hobbies my ass,"_ the blonde professor thought to herself. Outwardly Glynda rolled a hand and replied, "You know… _adult_ things that relieve tension?"

Ozpin set his mug down and looked at his deputy headmistress in bafflement, actual confusion on his face.

It was clear to Glynda that he didn't get it. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighed in defeat, " _Sex_ , Ozpin. I'm talking about sex."

"I have no wish to sire any children right now Glynda, I have far too much work to take care of," Ozpin replied, leaning back in his chair.

"That's not- I mean..." Glynda just stared at her superior as she looked baffled at his reply. She shook her head and sighed again, "Ozpin, first of all, I do more work than you and still manage to have a life in the bedroom."

"That's highly unprofessional Glynda, I do not wish to know about your sexual misconduct. Please keep that kind of talk outside the workplace."

" _Second of all_ ," Glynda forced out through gritted teeth, her riding crop bending between her hands in frustration. "There are such things as condoms in the world, you _can_ have sex for pleasure you know. Besides, I already booked the reservations for the next few nights at that fancy restaurant in the upper parts of Vale. I even managed to find a couple of replies to the inquiry I sent out. I paid good lien for the chance of having a less destructive you around the school, and damn it I _will_ have results."

Ozpin rose an eyebrow, " _Multiple_ replies? Glynda, I'm glad you realize how attractive and suave I am to the opposite sex, but even I can not juggle that many women around and not get caught. Especially when I'm apparently going to the same restaurant all week." Ozpin sipped his mug, "Besides, the harem route is rather cliche don't you think?"

Glynda pushed her glasses up, "You misunderstand me Ozpin. The reason I booked so many dates is because I hold no hope you can actually seduce a girl so easily. They are more likely going to run for the hills screaming the second they get to know you, so I have to go for the quantity approach."

Ozpin didn't reply to her vitriolic insult as he stared ahead at the elevator wall in silence, Glynda tapping her foot as she awaited his reply.

"Don't wanna," Ozpin eventually said as he turned around in his chair to look out the window behind his desk.

Glynda gritted her teeth and slapped her riding crop against her palm.

* * *

The headmaster of Beacon sniffed indignantly as he was being floated towards the entrance of the restaurant in front of him. His blonde deputy headmistress fixed him with a cold glare as she waved her riding crop forward, sending the man through the double doors face first.

"Glynda, please. I have a pair of legs, I can walk myself," was Ozpin's reply to his assistant's mistreatment.

"With how slow you were walking the date would've been over before you even set foot in the bullhead," the blonde now ignored her superior and turned her frosty glare over at the waiter that greeted them. Glynda pointed at Ozpin with her riding crop, "He has a reservation under Phadrig, please find him a seat while he waits for his date."

"Really, Glynda? My middle name?"

The blonde woman once again ignored the headmaster. "And if he leaves before he completes this date," Glynda sneered at the now sweating man, "I'll have to come _talk_ with you."

The waiter wilted under her gaze and fervently nodded, quickly leading the headmaster to his booth. Glynda made sure to stay and stare at Ozpin until he finally sat in his seat, leaving only when she was certain he would not run off.

Ozpin looked over his shoulder, making sure Glynda was gone before grabbing the waiter's arm in desperation. The young man looked down at Ozpin unsurely when the older man said, "I will give you a thousand lien if you tell her I was here the entire time."

The waiter shook his head so fast it became a blur, "Oh hell no! That lady is scary, I'm not risking my death over some lien!"

"Three thousand!" Ozpin pleaded.

"Nonono! No deal," the waiter sighed in relief when Ozpin let go of his arm, the headmaster hanging his head in defeat. It was just his luck that his waiter was one of the few people who was smart enough to recognize the real danger. Not certain on what to do, the young man tentatively asked, "Uh, you want something to drink?"

"Water with lemon, please," Ozpin dejectedly replied, not even looking up.

Ozpin sighed and set his cane against the table, straightening himself up, making sure to keep any wrinkles and creases from ruining his image. If he was going to be forced to do this, he was going to make sure he at least looked good, least his immaculate and prestigious image was marred. After a short minute, the waiter came back.

"Here's your water sir, and your date has arrived," the young waiter said as he placed Ozpin's drink down on the table along with two menus.

A small, colorful woman slid into the booth across from Ozpin, setting her pink parasol against the table next to his cane. Not even bothering to look at her date, she grabbed the small drink menu at the side of the booth and pointed a delicate finger at her choice, one of the more expensive drinks. She grinned at the waiter as he leaned over to take a look.

"Ah, a glass of Mistralian Merlot?"

The small woman shook her pink and brown head.

"A… bottle?"

She grinned wider and nodded, setting the small menu down. The waiter simply nodded and went to collect her drink. Once the young man left she looked over at her date for the first time, to see if he would actually be fun to play with.

Ozpin stared at the girl across from him, raising an eyebrow as undiluted shock seemed to overcome her face. She blinked, and her divided brown and pink eyes seemed to lose all color and turn white. Unsure of what to make of that, Ozpin decided it was time to break the ice.

"Good evening miss, I am Professor Ozpin and I am the headmaster at Beacon. I am also being coerced into this date by my assistant, might I know your name?"

Neo relaxed slightly as the headmaster did not seem to know what she looked like, her eyes changing back to match each side of her hair. A fact that surprised her as she was certain that team of students would've told somebody important about her involvement with the paladin incident with Roman.

The small woman tentatively pulled out her scroll and typed her name into it, showing the screen to Ozpin.

"Neopolitan, then? I take it you can not, or do not, wish to speak?" The tiny woman nodded and Ozpin replied, "I do know sign language if you wish to communicate. Using your scroll seems rather tedious."

Neo slowly nodded, feeling awkward in the presence of the faction leader she and her associates were opposed against. She slid her scroll into her jacket, waiting for Roman to give any sort of signal to bust her out from this plan's disastrous turn.

* * *

"Let's see here..." a snappily dressed man on top of a building said to himself as he scanned the restaurant across the street his small partner went into with a pair of binoculars. He and his colorful partner were doing one more little operation before the big move to Mountain Glenn. A simple one where Neo acts cute around some rich old man, gets him alone in whatever expensive home he lives in, and then they rob him blind. It doesn't always bring in the most lien, but it was damn sure fun. "Now, where did you go to my diminutive friend. Aha!"

Roman noted the windowed booth his partner just slid into, he put his binoculars down and moved to a spot that let him see the booth she was in better, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar. Lighting his lighter and taking a drag out of the tobacco Roman picked up the binoculars once again, "Let's see who we're working with. Probably another old windbag who can't eve-"

The lit cigar fell from Roman's lips and bounced on the rooftop as he finally got a better angle at his partner's date.

He put his arms down and closed his mouth.

"Well, shit. Guess it's time to give up on this little operation. There goes this little stress reliever..."

* * *

Neo's scroll buzzed, the only sound to break the uncomfortable silence between the two dating adults. She could not pull the device out quick enough, and as she glanced down at the screen Neo felt her jaw clench in irritation.

 _Sorry Neo, I'm not touching any of that. But you're a big girl, so to speak, I'm certain you'll figure something out and return to me safe and sound. Lots of love!_

 _~Roman_

"Trouble, Miss Neopolitan?" Ozpin asked, curious about the quick turnaround of his date's attitude by one simple scroll message.

Neo snorted and made several complicated and wild gestures that betrayed the angry emotions she felt, most of which could not be classified by any real signing language. But the point was still able to be carried over to the blinking Ozpin.

"Ah, trouble with your partner. So, you're a huntress then?" In truth he suspected as much, she carried herself like one and that parasol of hers looked suspicious. There hasn't been any rain for the past week and the most innocent of things could carry the biggest threats.

Neo nodded, going along with his train of thought, she didn't believe for a second he would take her being a criminal very well. She dropped an elbow on the table and rubbed her forehead. Normally she would have simply used her semblance to get out of this, but she didn't want to try that with someone like Ozpin who was just an arm's length away. Plus she didn't trust herself to use it well with her frustration going out of control.

"You seem very annoyed by whatever this partner of yours did," Ozpin smoothly said. He interlocked his fingers and leaned forward conspiratorially, "How about we get him or her back after dinner, I'll even lend you my full support on _anything_ you wish to do to get revenge."

In Ozpin's eyes, a chance has presented itself. A chance to turn this dull night into something a little more entertaining, to roam around a playground bigger than his school. Whatever managed to annoy the woman with obvious huntsman training in front of him should be something big.

Neo blinked, and slowly brought her head up to stare at the headmaster.

" _Anything?_ " Neo signed hesitantly.

"Anything," Ozpin replied.

Neo tilted her head to stare at Ozpin some more, making sure the older man was not yanking her chain. When she was certain he was in fact not kidding, a malicious smirk grew upon her face. Ozpin's own mischievous smirk matched it in intensity as their food was brought out and placed in front of them, already certain this night might just turn out interesting after all.

* * *

"So," Ozpin said as he stood out in the street with his small date, the roaring heat of the burning building in front of them almost making him uncomfortable. But Ozpin could not tear his gaze from the fire, its ever changing properties fixating him. "I take it your partner is fond of warehouses?"

Neo nodded enthusiastically at his side, her hands proudly resting upon her hips as she watched the raging inferno before them. This was one of Roman's favorite warehouses, it had most of his favorite clothes, hats, and some of his money stuffed inside. Neo felt that this was fair compensation for abandoning her like that to Beacon's headmaster, even if this wasn't as bad as she expected.

Ozpin mirrored her nod and looked back down at the multi-toned woman, "I see. Then I'm happy you've gotten your revenge Neo. I'm glad that this has been an exciting night, I haven't burnt anything down at the school for a long time, not since the last fire spread to the Dust storage and Glynda became a strict bore."

Neo looked up at Ozpin and grinned as sirens could be heard screaming in the background. The two arsonists turned their heads to look down the street as a police car swerved into the street. The huntsman and the sadistic criminal jumped to the rooftops as quickly as they could, leaving the sight of the authorities with ease.

Ozpin and Neo did not stop until they reached the entrance to the small woman's apartment, signaled by Neo herself stopping before the entrance.

Ozpin turned to Neo and said, "I believe this is where we part ways, do take care of yourself Miss Neopolitan. Perhaps we will meet once more in the future and do something interesting again."

Neo tilted her head and watched Ozpin turn around to leave. The huntsman stopped moving when he felt a tug at his coat. He turned around inquisitively, raising an eyebrow as Neo seemed to give him a once over before nodding and shrugging. She didn't let go as she dragged him through the entrance of her apartment building, even when Ozpin gave her a confused look.

* * *

A pleasant ding echoed through Ozpin's office, announcing the headmaster's arrival. As soon as the doors opened the headmaster made a sharp right out of the elevator doorway, making a beeline to the mug and coffee maker next to the elevator without saying a word to his assistant.

"You were gone all night," Glynda skeptically started. "Did you actually break all odds?"

Ozpin didn't say a word as he took a measured and blissful sip from his mug.

"She was very flexible," was Ozpin's eventual reply.

Glynda sighed, "So that's a y-"

" _Very_ flexible, Glynda," Ozpin interrupted his assistant, swirling his coffee around. "She did things with her body during coitus that I did not believe were physically possible."

"Ozpin, I don't want to know details," Glynda replied. "Picturing you in any kind of sexual act leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth."

"You probably don't have as bad of a taste in your mouth as-"

"Ah! Nononooo!" Glynda shouted, shoving a hand between herself and Ozpin as if to ward away from those words. "No! Do _not_ finish that sentence! I do not want to know about that, just… do you feel any more relaxed now? No more… entertaining yourself with the school?"

Ozpin made his way into his seat behind his desk as he took another sip from his mug, "I am not certain Glynda, I think perhaps a few more tests are in order as I do not feel any different than usual. But, sexual encounters aside, I did have quite the amusing night."

Glynda froze, those last few words raising several red flags in her head as Ozpin turned his desk on and loaded up the daily news, "What do you mean by… _amusing_?"

" _A large fire broke out in a warehouse over in the industrial district last night. The cause of the fire is unknown at this time, but many suspect it is the work of the White Fang. Others believe it to be the work of the nefarious criminal Roman Torchwick, several eyewitnesses all claim to have seen a well-dressed man with a cane at the scene of the crime alongside a short woman. Due to the shadows made by the fire, no one was able to get a good look at him. With no evidence to show, how will-_ " Lisa Lavender was cut off by Glynda pausing the video herself and glaring at Ozpin.

"You burnt down a warehouse?!"

Ozpin leaned back in his chair and smirked at her, "No evidence to support that claim of yours Glynda, I am however looking forward to tonight. Perhaps you weren't delusional this entire time, after all," Ozpin took a slow and mocking sip from his mug as he stared straight into Glynda's eyes, "dating is _very_ entertaining."

The deputy headmistress shivered as she finally realized what she had unleashed.


End file.
